living it up

despite

2012-01-30T16:28:00.000-08:00

despite a 'hit and run' that left me and asher and his two preschool friends in the middle of a city intersection

despite the lady fleeing the scene, leaving me with a totaled minivan and folks laughing and jeering at me on the sidewalk

despite asher's finger getting shut near the hinges of a heavy gym door for what seemed like minutes

despite the finger going flat then puffing up to twice the size of the others

despite sam running into a playground pole at school, causing a gash upon the forehead, with blood running down, taking care of it alone

despite a trip to the doctor for 5 staples that went in just like that...ka-chick, ka-chick, ka-chick, ka-chick, ka-chick

despite this all happening from a wednesday to the following thursday,

me and the kids were safe and unharmed in the van.

the totaled van gave us a new car, at least some towards it.

x-rays showed no broken finger.

6 days later and asher can make a fist with that puffed up finger.

the pediatrician put in the staples which meant no emergency room visit nor emergency room lines.

sam bounced back quickly to his entertaining self.

despite the week we've had,

our family jumped into 'survive and thrive' mode.

the boys grew more empathetic towards each other.

ben and i sat still in the evenings, grateful for His protection.

together, we said we could do a compact car rather than a van. it will be compact. it will be a squeeze. it will save us money. it meets the need.

the instant all of these incidents took place, we had to survive. we had to think fast. we had to think straight.

we had to hold each other.

we had to pray for each other.

we had to cheer each other on.

then we chose to thrive.

sure, it's easy to stay in survival mode.

you do what you can to coast through.

you try to keep your head up.

surviving is the first necessity.

surviving, sometimes, is all that can happen.

but for me, i could thrive going through this together.

key word being together.

throwing in the milkshake always help to thrive!

doesn't it, sam?

lemons

2012-01-23T15:25:00.000-08:00

doesn't the saying go, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade?

life has given us lemons. that is, it comes with the house.

sam and i gain satisfaction in shaking the tree and listening to the klomp of the lemons...some on our heads. we giggle.

he scurries to gather them.

we gaze up at the tree and it's as if the supply never ends.

it's a simple joy for ben. an extra gift to the home.

it's a process for elijah. he needs something to show for it. it's a gift, too. for he's doing it for others. he's not fond of the taste.

we give them away. they add flavor to cooking.

and we also make lemonade.

backyard lemonade

i'll give some credit to paula deen, but i'm gonna give most of the credit to three of my guys who picked the lemons, cut the lemons, and squeezed the lemons.

ingredients
fresh squeezed lemonade
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup hot water
1 cup fresh lemon juice (ben says 12 lemons)
2 quarts cold water

directions
in a pitcher, place sugar and hot water and stir til sugar dissolves. add lemon juice and cold water to make 2 quarts. stir until well mixed. slice lemons to make drink attractive.

life has given us lemons. what has life given you?

dream

2012-01-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

i want you to be the first to know:

a dream

one that began on my heart as a young girl

to report like deborah norville

or write like anne shirley of green gables.

over the years with my Father directing my steps and giving what gifts He has given me back to Him,

i'm delighted to share this dream with you.

this chapter began winter 2009 as i met my friend and co-author, courtney belle bullard, at a writer's conference in nashville. as the only two girls on the writer's team, we developed a quick friendship that has resulted in sharing similar dreams and passions to speak truth into the lives of women and young girls.

courtney lives in oklahoma with her husband, steve, and daughter, francesca. she also operates I.D. Ministries, an organization that helps teenage girls find their identity and purpose in Christ.

www.idministries.com

The Same Page: Living Your Happily Ever After

together, we have used our experience as moms, daughters, writers, speakers, and leaders to imaginatively create a story between a mother and daughter. The Same Page is a flip book with one side telling the story from a teenage daughter’s perspective and the other from a mother’s viewpoint. this book goes beyond a fictional tale and weaves journal questions for the reader. tate publishers has partnered to help make this tale a reality.

our vision

what is not speaking into the hearts and minds of teenage girls and moms today? no wonder it’s so hard to listen to God’s voice and His alone. there are so many voices out there trying to get our attention. courtney and i want to be another voice of truth speaking in the mind, heart of girls of all ages - yes, through a fanciful tale. it’s good to escape into a tale to discover truths about yourself in addition to hearing ‘current reality’ speak to you in forms of a friend, a pastor, family.

living your happily ever after

“I know I am living my happily ever after!” ysabel thinks to herself. courtney and i believe our ‘happily ever after’ begins when we accept the King’s gift of salvation. the most beautiful and redemptive stories are the ones when we embrace His truths and live them out in our heart, home, community, gifts, and the world.

[me and courtney] [holding the final layout]

discover your part

here's where i need your help. in the publishing world today, it’s up to the reader and authors to advocate for the book and its message. i need you to join us in inviting moms and daughters, women and girls, around the globe to step into this fanciful tale and discover their part in ‘living their happily ever after!’

here's what you can do:

tomorrow, saturday, january 21

our website goes live

www.thesamepagebook.com

facebook post

blog

help me get the word out about our website and

book set to release in march.

find us on facebook and post how you will help.

let me know you'll buy a copy and write a post on your blog.

send out an email to friends and family about the website and book.

i want to thank you for how you will use your circle of influence to tell others about this book. courtney and i believe in the message and wait expectantly for how God will use it.

believe with us.

in the coming weeks, i will let you know when i have the books in hand. come back and order from the website.

“We will come together when we see each other through the eyes of our King.” - The Same Page

spent

2012-01-18T03:00:00.000-08:00

"i will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls." paul said this in his letter to the church in corinth. [2 Corinthians 12.15]

this year, more than ever,

i want to walk in love.

i want to share and sacrifice for others.

friends are asking to come into the warmth of our new home.

i must open the door.

by the way, we've been blessed to have already had over thirty friends here thus far. our family can't wait to see how our home is used as a blessing.

moms are seeking stronger, healthier marriages.

i must encourage, follow-up, and pray.

women long for community. i long for community.

i must seek it out and let His overflow in my life spill over to others.

if i care for the souls of mankind like Jesus does, His Kingdom will come.

"our relationships are new and more alive because we are abiding in love Himself and His love is the wellspring of ours."

[jennifer kennedy dean, He Restores My Soul]

home

2012-01-15T15:20:00.000-08:00

we're home.

it's been a word we've seriously talked about as a family since

spring of last year. on our drives to and from school, we'd collectively ask God to provide a home in the neighborhood.

our hearts are already in san francisco, but we have wanted our roots to take hold in the neighborhood where our boys attend school and where we are building relationships.

[our back deck]

as i wrote in my post dwell, we've loved every minute in our first place and believe that this new place begins a new season for our family and how we want to serve the city. when we share our home story in the city, people who are renters understand the agony that can come with the process of finding a home or apartment. but for others, let me shed a little light...

the vacancy rate in san francisco is less than 4% making it very nice for landlords and competitive for those seeking to rent.

our days were spent on craigslist looking for a place affordable and conducive to a family of five.

i compare applying for a rental in san francisco to applying for a scholarship to an ivy league school. it's intense and only one can be chosen. applicants will offer to pay more, bring gift baskets, submit resumes, and sometimes play dirty. the more we applied, the more our eyes were open to the reality that this was bigger than us. through the application process, we'd get awful close and then hear the words,

"the other couple makes a little more than you."

"they're just now starting their family."

"oh, it's already rented; sorry for not calling you back."

"now, how many kids did you say you have?"

(the week after thanksgiving)

monday night, we discovered we were one of the top two

applicants for a home. we gathered as a family

and asked God to give us this home.

asher prayed, "God, thank you for our new home. Amen."

we went to bed hopeful.

tuesday, i received one of these dreaded phone calls from the potential landlord. he chose the other couple. i was devastated. how many more of these phone calls would we get? the search was wearing on me mentally and emotionally. the thought of clicking on craigslist again made me stomach turn. i asked ben if he would continue the search over the holidays, if he chose. i would take a break, set up Christmas decor in our apartment and will myself to trust and wait.

[a rose blossoms in january in our backyard]

a process brings about much stretching and revelation. a process takes time...time i thought we didn't have. a process reveals much about one's character. this search was more than acquiring a home. it was a pursuit for a gift for our family. we see it as a part of the mission for living here. moms in my small group were praying for us. friends in the neighborhood wrote reference letters for us. through the stretching, we were being watched as how we would respond to yet another no. i can't say we got it right the whole time. yet, we lived this process like an open book. we had to relinquish our control. we had to submit to God's best for our family and wait on His perfect timing.

on wednesday, ben calls after taking the boys to school that he had a home viewing at two that afternoon. i told him to go ahead as i would be picking up the boys. at two, ben calls and tells me to rush over to five-two-four day street.

"you gotta see this one!"

it had been less than 24 hours since the devastating phone call. i went with hopes low.

[hutch in kitchen corner]

home was built in 1907. everything updated.

yet beautiful hutch original.

rusty, the landlord, was busy making finishing touches for future tenants. open floor space for entertaining. a dream kitchen. patty, also the landlord, remodeled with emphasis on storage. lots of windows. hardwood floors. garage. deck. lemon tree. apple tree. rose bushes. warm morning and afternoon sun. gas fireplace.

i smiled through the tour of the home, thinking,

"someone is gonna love this house."

i left with hopes low.

i put the final touches on our Christmas tree and resolved to celebrate the holidays in our apartment.

moms would come for a Christmas craft and cookies.

we'd travel to louisiana for a week.

we'd enjoy our first Christmas Day in the city.

[view out our bedroom window]

ten days passed and ben grew hopeful. i held on with a small dose of faith. ben interrupted my mom's brunch to tell me we got the house. my mouth dropped. i quickly shared the news with the moms that had been praying for us. i couldn't believe it.

"why did they pick us?" i wondered.

"i don't know, but we got the house!" ben laughed with excitement.

rusty and patty chose us. they wanted us...all five of us.

we signed the paperwork and began moving in just before Christmas. we still spent Christmas Day at our apartment.

movers and friends did majority of the move with us on december 26, the night we lay our heads down in our new home.

the craigslist search is over. God gave us a home that surpasses my wildest dreams.

[a dainty chandelier]

i wasn't looking for the gift to be lavishing. i was simply looking and hopeful for the gift. the gift of a home. but a friend reminded me of a truth about God:

God loves you and at times God lavishes His love upon you. do you know that as the only female living in this boy-filed home that there hangs two dainty chandeliers?

that's lavish.

and do you know that as ben and i head to bed at night, we have the most amazing view of our city just above our bed?

that's lavish.

[treat bags for our new neighbors]

though our things are moved in and our beds made.
though i've used the stove and emptied the dishwasher.
though food is in the fridge and the towels linger on the bathroom floor, there is one thing that makes this place home.
we picked lemons and placed them in a brown paper sack.
we baked 6 dozen chocolate chip cookies.
we wrote out a note with our phone numbers and emails.
we went to our ten neighbors on our street.

now, we're home.

christmas

2012-01-08T03:00:00.000-08:00

it's christmas time in the city!

last year we spent most of the christmas holiday with family in the south. this year we spent it with family in the city.

[mccords on christmas eve with big breakfast and gifts]

[first christmas eve service at epic]

[homemade stitched ornament elijah made at school]

[christmas at our apartment]

[note, cookies and carrots - a pilgreen tradition]

[waking up and ready to fly down the stairs. we had to wake up the boys for me and ben were growing impatient at 730 am]

["what? these stockings were empty last night!?"]

[star wars episode I]

[sf giants nutcracker]

["you're telling me we got sf giants tickets?!"]

["yeah. i know this was empty when i went to bed last night."]

[aunt nat gifted the boys with her childhood baseball collection]

["this is gonna be awesome!"]

["bring it on!"]

[a fun addition to our new home on the back deck]

as if gift giving wasn't enough for the five of us, we were blessed this Christmas to receive a new home in the neighborhood where the boys go to school.

we moved the day after Christmas.

plus, on our flight back to california, american airlines needed 5 people to take a later flight giving each of us $300 vouchers to use this year!

merry + bright

2012-01-07T08:25:00.001-08:00

going home for Christmas is as nostalgic as it seems and i believe more so with age.

this year we traveled to louisiana and the closer we got, the more we talked about the good food we would eat and the collective noise we'd share with ten kids under the age of ten and nine adults.

all was merry + bright!

[pumpkin cream cheese muffins]

[emily's famous chocolate chip cookies]

[emma and brendan]

[jonah and asher and elijah]

[chicken enchiladas]

[kids at lincoln parish park]

[happy will]

[stuffed mushrooms]

[pizza rolls]

[southwest eggrolls]

[lee and lindsey's tradition of gifting the kids books]

[will - an early reader]

[erin sharing her love for reading with miles]

[spending time with gj was the 'bright' part of our trip]

[homemade cream, hot chocolate, and chocolate bark]

all was merry + bright!

dwell

2011-12-18T03:00:00.000-08:00

dwell: to remain for a time

i've stopped counting.

[we've moved a time or two]

i've started dwelling.

[it's far better]

to dwell has no expiration date.

[a lease might]

dwell speaks of seasons.

[we find ourselves in the season of blessing]

[lemon tree at our new dwelling place]

we moved to san francisco in may 2010

into the neighborhood where our church would begin.

our apartment hosted launch team meetings for 7 months.

we've had hundreds of people in our home.

ben and i have met with young couples over coffee and dessert around our dining table.

friends and family from georgia, louisiana, texas, connecticut, kentucky, missouri, alabama, tennessee, have all spent the night.

thanksgiving was celebrated here for two years.

2 small groups met weekly.

[friends on epic's launch team]

the boys have made cards for the senior center across the street.

we've made friends with the firefighters, postal workers, police officers, librarians, baristas, bakers, clerks, and neighbors nearby.

behind these doors, i knew not what awaited. i am astonished by how our apartment has been used. tracks on the carpet prove so!

we open another door very soon.

it's been a door we've been searching for almost a year.

our boys are settled into a great school and we are making friends in this neighborhood.

we believe for a season we were needed at our apartment in soma neighborhood in the city.

we now believe for this season we have been given the gift of a home in noe valley neighborhood in the city.

it hasn't been easy.

there's tough rental competition in sf.

our family of five doesn't get great ratings for our size!

[our new dwelling place]

yet, our new landlords patty and rusty replied to me after I told them this home was a great Christmas gift,

"we picked you. we chose your family."

in a highly competitive market, wanting the best for our children, to be chosen reaches deep into the soul.

my prayer for our new dwelling place:

may You, O God, dwell with us.

may You make our home a haven, a refuge from the world.

may You fill our home with joy and peace and Your presence.

our family invites You in.

may hospitality abound.

may laughter fill the air.

may each person that steps in know they are loved, safe, and at home.

come and dwell. our home is not complete without You.

amen.

do you have a memory of our apartment?

please leave a comment.

do you like to pack boxes?

just kidding.

would you like our new address?

leave a comment with your address and i'll be happy to send you a family picture with our new address.
(i will not publish your address on my blog)

succeed

2011-12-16T08:29:00.000-08:00

ten years has a nice celebratory ring to it.

whether it ten years old or ten years on the job or,

for us last year, ten years of marriage.

eleven always succeeds ten.

as ben and i have reflected over this year of marriage we have commented that so many milestones have filled our first ten years of marriage.

graduate school

elijah

sam

asher

growth in ministry

launch of a church

as we look ahead to the next ten years we see our boys growing through their teenage years. we see lots of competition on the sports field, increased amounts of homework, conversations about girls, and prayerfully, our younger two making faith in Jesus their own. we see my dream of writing a book become a reality. we see Epic growing deeper and stronger.

eleven always succeeds ten.

in marriage, celebratory years are milestones. to say we've been marriage ten years receives praise. but what about eleven?

twelve? thirteen? fourteen?

the reality comes alive for me that not every moment is celebratory or monumental. but it's in the every day that builds to the monumental and celebratory.

i get up every day at 6 am, but

celebrate saturdays with no alarm clock.

we eat most meals at home, but

it's a great moment to dine out and have someone else cook.

getting bills in the mail is normal,

but a personal letter is always a treat.

marriage is filled with the every day.

yet something has to take place daily that builds.

builds towards the legacy. builds towards the celebratory.

if we're not building every day, our marriage will not grow.

if we're not building, we remain stagnant.

how celebratory is that?

in the every day, we build...

"how was your day?"

putting them before emails, text messages, & facebook

saying "thank you," and meaning every bit of those two words

setting aside time to talk each other

being selfless

date nights often

going above and beyond

looking at each other in the eye

sharing your dreams, your hurts

working hard to make things right

not letting the sun go down on your anger

praying together (unifies your souls)

showing respect (he's not just occupying space)

extending grace (we all mess up)

desiring & fulfilling intimacy with one another

eleven always succeeds ten.

ben and i celebrate eleven today.

12.16

it's been a non-stop adventure since our wedding day.

if you've been a part of our journey, you know so.

but it's the adventure, the leaps of faith, the unknowns, the celebratory, the every day that build.

we looked at our boys in the face this morning and said,

"each anniversary that we celebrate together is a gift to you.we want to be an example of a fun, happy, strong marriage."

we realize many married couples have anniversaries and wonder why they are still holding on. we strongly desire to be that couple that works daily at our marriage to make it great. it's worth it for our boys. it's worth it for our church. it's worth it for each other.

eleven always succeeds ten.

succeed means to come after, but

also means to turn out well.

may our marriage, may your marriage succeed.

(by the grace of God)

fer

2011-12-14T19:49:00.000-08:00

fer.

that's asher's word for four.

just like downsters.

it seems like yesterday i was swinging

this 'all smiles' baby at sequiota park in missouri

and now i play baseball daily with him.

asher turns fer on december 19th

but in an effort to keep it from getting lost with Christmas

we've celebrated since the start of the month.

he requests that we sing the "happy birthday" song often. he joins in and sings it as if to a third person! i made a promise that on his birthday we will sing on cue anytime he wants!

asher has made friends in the city through epic and at his brother's school. we celebrated recently with pizza and sugar cookies, per his request.

then we did his favorite...taking the bin of balls to

the complex gym. crazy fun!

asher has an understanding of friendship that has deepened this year. whether his size or not, he delights in spending time with friends.

"happy birthday to asher, happy birthday to you!"

christmas (by the bay)

2011-12-13T03:00:00.000-08:00

The Golden Gate is glowing
On this cool December night
And the cities highest towers shine
Like presents wrapped in light

Where the stores are decorated

And a chill is in the air

We'll be holding hands together

A time to celebrate

In the San Francisco way

It's Christmas by the bay

I'm with you in my favorite place

On my favorite holiday

[words by tim hockenberry's christmas by the bay]

i'm fearlessly known to start listening to instrumental Christmas on the first of october.

lyrical Christmas is added on the 25th of october.

decorations are pulled out with excitement on the weekend after thanksgiving.

our city celebrates brilliantly with lights on storefronts, skyscrapers and in apartment windows. festivities happen nightly in december with cultural focuses. Hanukkah is observed by many of our friends in mid-december.

we celebrate in small ways at night with carols, cookies, movies, crafts, and cards. i'm all wrapped up in the celebrated season for many reasons.

i love the way ben has instilled generosity into the value of our family and it explodes at Christmas. our boys have given to our Hope Project at Epic separate from us. we have adopted a family to bless this season.

i love the daily and constant reminder that our God chose to come in human form as a baby to rescue us. the reminders come through the nativity scene on our shelf. the songs we sing. the cross ornament on our tree. the gifts we share with others.

we told our boys today, "you can never give more than God for He gave His only Son to us and continues to give to us abundantly."

"no, but we can try!" was one of their comments.

and that's why we are here in the city by the bay - to give as much as we can to as many as we can because He's given so much to us.

merry Christmas

mommies

2011-12-12T03:00:00.000-08:00

mommies need each other.

this monumental life stage requires support.

through epic, we've started a mom's small group this fall.

the children are taken care of in our home by some fabulous ladies which gives us moms an hour all to ourselves in another room!

one thing we've collectively concluded this fall:

there's something about being a mom.

there's something else about being a mom in the city.

there's something about being moms in the city together.

we've seen loneliness leave a woman's soul.

we've witnessed the power of prayer.

we've met for playdates throughout the city and in our homes.

we've looked into each others' eyes and said, "you can do this," and "we care for you."

we've read truths from the Bible and experienced 'ah-ha' moments that saturated our deepest hurts and deepest desires.

we recently gathered in our home for

mommy and me crafts and cookies.

together with our kids we made an ornament and a Christmas card. the kids made an edible Christmas tree and I read the Christmas story.

it's in the togetherness, when without words, we seem to say to one another,

"i'm glad we have each other here."

epic will have two mom small groups in the spring. i'm grateful for the growth and the new friendships. if you or someone you know wants to be a part, please let me know.

thanksgiving

2011-12-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

"i will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; i will sing praises to you among the nations."

psalm 108.3

the table was set.

the turkey ordered.

[i'm more of a host than a cook.]

our friends in the city arrived with their traditional foods to create the feast. we were honored to host friends who were staying in town for thanksgiving.

from south africa, louie and marele experienced their first thanksgiving with us.

ray, joyce, sienna, and cami have family back east, too, and delighted our home with their presence.

brad, cara, will, and ella are in the city only a year for a fellowship as they will return to the midwest.

we have two families. our family we were born into and our church/community family in the city. we missed being with our extended family in georgia and louisiana, but are blessed to now have family in the city.

feasting was a big part of the day, but conversation, children's laughter, and sharing our top ten thankful list was the cream on the pie!

so much so that napping was had by some!

"i will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; i will sing praises to you among the nations."

psalm 108.3

six

2011-11-29T03:00:00.000-08:00

God gave us creativity when He gave us sam six years ago.

sam sees beyond the ordinary.

sam enjoys art and expressing his imagination through means of paper, glue, scissors, clay, and recycled goods.

it was only natural for him to have great ideas for his 6th birthday party.

cars was the theme.

stations of various projects was the plan.

home was the setting.

tuesday after school at the brink of thanksgiving break was the time.

it was the homemade, creative, at-home kind of party that made me reminiscent of my childhood birthdays.

the boys and girls decorated car cakes with toppings and a side of chocolate ice cream.

sam is at his best when surrounded by friends.

he loves his friends at school and friends at epic.

it was a delight to have every one of them in our home.

sam's friends know he loves art, legos, and star wars.

sam received many wonderful gifts from family back east:

cars costume

cars 2 movie

star wars legos and alarm clock, t-shirt

lite brite

the family took him out for pizza and the movie, arthur christmas, the following night.

birthdays are always a big exciting celebration for us.

our lives are richer because of sam.

he was celebrated, no doubt, and knows he's loved.

Tahoe

2011-11-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

gifts come in all shapes and sizes.

they cause us to fall back and be blown away!

they make us smile.

they allow us to look back at God's goodness, acknowledge His presence in the present, and know He continues to go ahead of us.

gifts are given to us to share with others.

gifts are sweet.

gifts blow us away when God is central and acknowledged.

------

our family, along with the mccords (which are family!), were invited to ben and kim's home in tahoe for a few nights.

we drove around lake tahoe, taking us into nevada.

we picnicked by the fire and stopped to gaze at amazing views.

the mccords have been a gift to our family for the past 3 years. they pour our lives with wisdom as they are just a few steps ahead of us in parenting. they are strong in leadership and hospitality. a gift we don't take for granted.

ben and kim are new friends. they graciously and selflessly opened up their home to the 10 of us, providing food, cooking every meal, serving as tour guides, and expressing hospitality abundantly.

tahoe is amazing. the snow still scattered from a crazy shower at the first of november, there was just enough on the ground and none left on the roads. the kids sledded. we were left breathless.

tahoe. a gift. friends. an even greater gift. can't wait to return and experience it all over again.

2. nuture

2011-11-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

in my selfishness, i will choose tasks over people. i will choose to put myself first, my needs first. the art of nurturing doesn't work with selfishness. it works with sacrifice.

my friend delivered a sweet boy into the world yesterday. as i think of the miracle of birth, that precious baby needed nurturing from the minute he breathed his first breath in the world. he'll receive it from doctors, nurses, his mom and his dad. it's in the early months up until more independence that a loving mother never questions her gift of nurturing. it makes sense. it provides health. it feeds. it leads to growth.

yet i find myself with three precious boys who have gained that independence more so and i wonder how to nurture. they don't need me like they did at birth. but that's not the truth. they need me and the gift of nurturing in a new way.

the same with God. He is still Father to me though seasons of life have a way of bringing to light new and different ways I see Him and need Him. as i parent, i need Him in different ways. i depend on Him in different ways. with babies, i depended on His promises that He was my strength and sanity when i was sleep-deprived and weak. with toddlers, i depended on His creativity to show me ways to keep a mobile child entertained for hours on end. with school-aged boys, i depend on Him for wisdom to debrief after a hard day of school.

i'm thankful God nurtures me. He knows what i need when i need it. He is faithful to care and provide.

Gary Thomas shares this as well:

"No matter how many bumps we may hit or bends we may have to negotiate along the road to raising our children, God promises to guide our steps, strengthen our stride, and refresh our souls. He knows we are insufficient, but he points us to his Son's provision and his Spirit's comfort, guidance, and power, all of which more than meet our needs. Even if we don't see all the results we'd like to see, at least we're getting steady reminders of God's patience and long-suffering toward us."

may you and i use the art of nurturing to meet our children's needs in ways that speak love and care to them. it requires selflessness. it requires sacrifice. but be encouraged. Someone was that selfless and sacrificial to us.

"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:23-26

1. nurture

2011-11-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

i admit that i'm task-driven over people-driven. this is magnified in my home especially among the little people. as our boys gain independence from me, i naturally pull away towards my tasks, giving them more care and attention.

my flesh tells me...
tasks produce results faster. people take time. tasks get checkmarks. people need verbal appreciation. tasks i can control. people can be difficult. tasks are mechanical. people are needy.

my spirit tells me...
people matter. most of my tasks can wait. re-prioritize. my little people need me, my time, my attention, my care, my love. tasks can happen and need to happen, but not dominate my day. tasks are temporary. people are eternal.

if there is one regret i don't want to live with, it is this...
that my little people reflect back on their childhood and say, 'my mom got lots done around the house. we ate good meals. we lived in a clean house. we always had clothes in our closet.'
rather...
'my mom gave us a rich childhood by being fully present, listening to us, and caring for our needs.'

Gary Thomas shares this wisdom in his book, Sacred Parenting:

"What our children ask of us pales in comparison to what we ask of God. In our struggles and our weariness, may we never get to the place of self-righteousness, forgetting that God has forgiven us, is patient with us, and endures our own failings to an even greater extent than we do for our children. Most kids live with us for two, maybe two and a half decades; God puts up with us for the full breadth of our lives....He remains patient with us for many times longer than we must exercise patience with our children. He doesn't ask anything of us as parents that he hasn't delivered a hundred times over himself."

i believe as women, God graciously gifted us to nurture. it's the part of God that we intimately share with Him. yet, it's in our messiness of sin and flesh that we thwart the gift. we put the gift on the shelf. we expect others to use it, not us. we tap into the gift, not using it to its full potential. God beautifully created us to nurture. our children benefit from this gift. our lives are richer when this gift is fully poured out through us.

"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy...." 1 Colossians 1.11

soccer

2011-11-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

our family came into this sport knowing very little. the boys had to listen really hard to their coaches. we asked questions on the sidelines.

it was all worth it.

sam played 3 on 3 with no goalies and scored almost every game.

his non-competitive love for the game is contagious to his teammates. don't get sam wrong. though the teams don't keep score, sam does!

elijah and sam play with kids from their school.

both teams, alvarado cougars.

it's been really fun to get to know the families more outside of school.

elijah had a coach that believed in him from the beginning.

he commented on elijah's will and determination.

with that, he was given opportunities to be goalie.

he stopped many from getting through!

his last game, the cougars won!

though we were watching two games a saturday,

we've got a third athlete on the rise!

fragrance

2011-11-07T03:00:00.000-08:00

the building itself is concrete.

though 6 stories high, it is minuscule to the skyscrapers surrounding.

we are in the basement, no outside light at all.

our faith community gathers this particular Sunday for a special service.

communion.

Epic is 8 months old. we have not broken bread, nor drank of His cup til now.

at our previous location, there was strict rules of food and beverage in our meeting space.

the wait was over. the sacraments could now be observed.

for 1500 years before Christ came, Passover was observed, celebrated, for the israelites witnessed God passing over their blood-covered doorposts and sparing them death.

yet, on one Passover night, Jesus was betrayed after He had observed the Passover meal with his disciples.

upon His death, there was no more need for a spotless lamb for sacrifice. He was the Spotless Lamb who died once and for all.

now with our faith community, we partook of His blood and His body, poured out and broken for us.

as we took communion, we let our praises and prayers rise as incense, as fragrance to our God.

the building itself is concrete, but that holds no weight on praise rising.

the building is minuscule, but not our God. He was worshipped and adored in the basement this particular Sunday.

all because He sent His Sacrificial Spotless Lamb to take away the sins of the world.

(un)ashamed

2011-11-02T03:00:00.000-07:00

the exact location is blurry, yet i am certain that highway stretched out the left window and green forest out the right. it was the summer of 2009 and our family of five was somewhere in our mini-van between louisville, kentucky and pensacola, florida. while ben was driving, i had managed to sandwich myself between two booster seats in the back row to cut through the tension between elijah and sam. they were tired. that's always my excuse for bad attitudes. the tension stopped and soon they were resting their heads on my boney shoulders. it couldn't have been comfortable, but they were still. and still was good.

it was in the stillness and the hypnosis of staring at pine tree after pine tree after pine tree. it was in the rhythm of the highway that i had an ah-ha moment with God. it wasn't audible. it was like a tug or gentle knock that only my soul felt. for all was still in the van.

the tug resembled the tug i often feel from one of our boys who is pulling on my shirt hem, looking up and reminding me of something. "mommy, you said you would play trains with me." or "mommy, how come you're still in the kitchen?" or "mommy, hold you." (which means they want me to hold them)

this tug seemed to say, "shauna, daughter, you have known Me for a while. you have read parts of My Letter to you. I want you to read it cover to cover. I want you to be still and take in every Word. I want to hold you while you read."

i have written in the front of my journal Bible these words, "how can i share His Word when i haven't read all of it? my desire is to complete it before we move to san francisco as a testimony of my faith that i do believe fully in His written Word."

"The Bible differs from anything else you'll ever study. Penned by God Himself in perfectly timed revelation over hundreds of years and sixty-six books, it is far more than history or literature. It is a divinely-inspired meeting place where God reveals Himself and invites us into relationship." [Beth Moore]

the exact location is blurry, yet i am certain that i'm at least 10,000 feet in the sky. it was the fall of 2011 and ben and i were flying home from a week in the midwest.i was sandwiched between the aisle armrest and ben. i sat still as i opened up the last few pages of Revelation. this moment resembled the past 1,000 days. whether in my spot on the red couch by the lamp at 6 am in san francisco or in the leather recliner by the lamp at 6 am in springfield, the moment tasted sweet and proved rich.

for God met me every morning. it might have been 3 chapters as planned. it might have been one verse that gripped my innermost. i jotted down questions about the text because i didn't fully understand. i stopped mid-sentence to talk to the Writer of the Letter. He never failed me.

i have written in the front of my journal Bible these words, too, "I read the last words of John's writings of Revelation on a plane no doubt. this has been a rich journey - one i will cherish and journey again. God, i'm grateful for Your Word - cover to cover. thank You for meeting with me - guiding me - teaching me - revealing You."

"You will never waste a moment you spend with an open heart in God's Word." [Beth Moore]

this i know. i didn't finish until living in san francisco for 17 months. 17 months past my plan. i am ashamed to say that i have had a relationship with God for 26 years and have never read His Word completely.

but this i know more. God doesn't hold it against me! He cherished the time more than i did. i hold the Letter differently now. i see myself on the pages.

maybe you're like me and have had a copy of the Bible for years and never read it through, take the journey. take the time. let me know. whether you think Him true or false, you will read and be changed for the better. let me know also. i want to know what you discover.

return to the watering hole

2011-10-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

where do you go when you're empty?

who steps in and offers that satisfying word that quenches the soul?

in ministry, in life, seasons of emptiness come.

and i've learned emptiness is good.

for to be empty, you had to have been filled at one moment.

emptiness can happen over time. for us, recently, emptiness has happened

all too quickly as momentum races, pulling us with it.

busy schedules. going to two services. community projects. small group growth.

to be filled can only be done by the Living Water.

because the Living Water is alive and flowing, it can be a sudden burst of life to the soul.

i describe the filling like the human body attached to an oxygen tank. it resuscitates.

bringing color back. giving strength.

[pastor and ruth drove us by this spot years ago. this rushing water can only be seen after a heavy rain. otherwise, the land is dry.]

springfield is our watering hole.

we returned for a brief visit to share stories of God's provision, salvation,

miracles, and work in san francisco.

we knew our hearts would be blessed by being with such a sweet people. for the people have spoken love, support, and prayers over us. they saw the vision to start a church in san francisco take shape. they see it now come to fruition.

as we returned to the watering hole, the people were used by the Living Water to resuscitate. to strengthen. to pray. to touch.

one gentleman said, "i'm praying for you," with tears in his eyes.

we looked deep into his eyes and with confidence said, "we know."

for the people are holding the other end of the rope. they get filled from the Living Water so they can bless us, pray for us, support us. we then get our fill so we can be emptied out to the faith community and beyond in our city.

isn't this the natural picture our God has already created?

rain falls giving life to the earth.

winter snow melts to cause spring to come forth.

streams flow to another source refusing to be selfish.

we returned to the watering hole. we stayed but for a moment. hopeful to be a blessing. we left resuscitated. strengthened. renewed. we return now to our city, our children, our faith community to be emptied all over again.

and i can't wait!

for when we are emptied out, we don't grow stagnant. He keeps us fresh. and He always fills in ways that breathe life.

read more of our story of the watering hole at this blogpost:

http://www.shaunapilgreen.com/2010/05/watering-hole-reflections-on-life-in.html

34

2011-10-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

ben always wants adventure. spontaneity. experience.

i, on the other hand, want a vacuum cleaner or a new skillet.

i think practical.
it can be kinda boring.

one night ben asked me at bedtime, "what do you want for your birthday?"

"let's go ziplining through the redwoods," i replied non-chalantly.

i couldn't have caught him more off guard.

i saw this canopy tour in sunset magazine and thought now is the time to live it up!

forget the practical (at least this year) and create an adventure to add to our story of life together.

i love that God gave me a fall birthday! i absolutely love the colors and the season.

Our Creator gave us the most amazing day of blue skies and leaves dipped in oranges, reds, and yellows. weather was perfect.

ben is an expert at finding great places and he found the best breakfast place in sonoma county. it is nestled into the town of occidental just a few miles from our ziplining experience.

breakfast sandwich with ham, egg, and cheese and a side of perfectly seasoned red potatoes for me.

french toast with a side of eggs and sausage, biscuits and gravy for ben.

a big brunch was in order since we would be in the trees for over 2 hours.

deep into the redwoods
temperature drops.
sun's rays hidden
we strap on harnesses.
make them tight. snug.
this is one time we want everything fitted.
we learn lessons on the ground
how to brake, slow down, speed up.

high up in the trees we go.

i couldn't be more excited.

the thrill of what lies ahead makes me beam.

i'm really gonna do this. i'm r-e-a-l-l-y gonna do this.

"what have i gotten myself into?" ben wonders.

he couldn't be more scared.

it's one of those shaky fears.

when my words quiver coming out of my mouth.

i move about to stay calm.

i hate heights. like being on a hotel balcony. i stay to the wall and look out. never down.

leaning over makes me queasy.

i find myself hugging a tree. looking out. never down.

do you know that redwoods sway?

they have a deep root system and 'hold hands' with other redwoods.

yet they grow very tall and sway in the wind.

not much comfort 80 feet up holding onto one.

"sit down in the harness," the guide says.

"lean back."

gravity takes hold and away i go.

my hands cling to the latch on the line.

my feet wrapped.

the zipping sound slides with me.

i scream.

i laugh.

it's as if the trees are watching me.

clapping in the wind applauding my bravery.

they smell of eucalyptus and evergreen.

i am in their midst.

hidden from the hustle of the city.

soaring from one tree to the next.

the first zipline was a blur.

too focused on the rules to enjoy.

the second zipline was more relaxed.

still controlled.

the third zipline.

800 feet of pure bliss.

i took liberty to look down.

trees below.

the sun's rays found me.

this line lasted.

the fourth, fifth, and sixth ziplines satisfied.

we climbed a wooden spiral staircase farther up the redwood.

harnesses still attached to trees and lines.

that's comfort.

our guides took us across two sky bridges.

the seventh zipline.

is it really over?

the last task, the hardest.

swing out and around and repel down 80 feet.

it was the swinging out that had me locked in fear.

i had to do this on my own.

i liked the push of gravity more.

the guide had earned my trust at this point.

i would do my part.

alas, the repel and my feet meet earth.

the earth felt strange after being in the trees for 2 hours.

yet what felt the best was having this adventure with ben.

an adventure, a day i would repeat a thousand times over.

living in northern california

we take advantage of the mountains and the ocean.

zipline through the redwoods

followed by a family birthday dinner on the pacific.

my gifts on this birthday?

a school mom tells me our children are well-behaved.

a couple sitting across from us at dinner tells us they were encouraged to see our family pray together.

my son tells me, "mom, you're the funniest person i know," as we wrap freshly laundered sheets over our faces. (a high compliment coming from our silly son)

"i find no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." 3 john 4

disney

2011-10-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

disneyland is known as the happiest place on earth.

i will unashamedly admit that i got excited just watching videos or talking about it as a family.

we saved our money and were gifted some as well.

the vacation this fall came at just the right time.

our calendars were maxed out and our momentum in ministry at full speed.

some would say we were crazy to leave town, but we know leaving town allows us, sometimes, to regroup, refocus, and relax.

relaxation had begun!

you know disney...they like to celebrate everything!

surfboard rice krispy treats were delivered for elijah's upcoming birthday.

we let teachers know we'd be taking elijah and sam out of school for a few days for family vacation. we don't do this often, and let them know when we're at school we are fully committed and fully attentive. but we believe we get our money's worth and it truly is a vacation when we can be at disney during off-peak season.

the boys got lots of character time during this off-peak season! in fact, if we waited in line longer than 10 minutes they replied, "it's crowded today!"

perfect age to go to disney! not even asher was afraid of the characters. you can tell he was quite fond of them...her!

a few years from now, the trip to disney will look totally different. our experience will be more about the rides and thrills, while this trip was a perfect combination of magical experience and enjoying the rides.

our first time to disneyland! a few of us have experienced disneyworld, but we now prefer disneyland for many reasons: 1. it's only 2 parks. 2. you can walk to everything rather than waiting on shuttles. 3. it's more intimate. 4. it's drivable for us. 5. it's the original.

we had no strollers. they didn't complain about walking...

they're used to walking lots in the city.

Asher was 40" and could ride 90% of the rides.

elijah was chosen for jedi training academy and got to defeat darth maul

and bring the dark side down!

boys in toon town

eating hand battered corn dogs in a prime spot to watch the evening parade

weather was great with warm afternoons and cool evenings

fairy godmother showed up at breakfast and was curious if we came in a pumpkin or not!

i took one for the team and went on the wet ride and ben took one for the team and went on the teacups. always a lose-lose situation!

we were blessed to enjoy 3 days in the parks, riding more than 15 rides per day. (stat provided by our older two boys) we saw lots of our favorite characters and fun shows/parades at night.

this vacation was an escape from normalcy. we spent time laughing and breaking routine.

we took time to look at each other and relax.

i will agree that disney is the happiest place on earth, but temporarily. this vacation brought us pleasure and memories. but truthfully, our happiest place on earth was with us the whole time. and that's the 5 of us that God has chosen to make our family.

and chick-fil-a was the cherry on the top on the way home -

making the vacation all the sweeter!

kid tools

2011-10-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

not a screwdriver and measuring tape, and certainly not a hammer and nails.

i'm writing of tools that our family uses with our boys. tools that challenge our boys to learn more. to excel in their passions and creativity.

i will admit that i'm good at borrowing other's great ideas and implementing them into our home. but i'm always looking for more. with that, this post is two-fold.

one, i want to share our tools and, two, i want you to share yours. and like any tool in the toolbox, they seem to work best when they've been tried and tested. same with our kid tools. they've been tried and tested and are pilgreen-approved. please share your tried and tested tools in the comment box.

[photo taken by sam]

starting from left to right:

Audio stories

We're currently listening to Sally Lloyd-Jones as she retells The Jesus Storybook Bible, as well as, Goodnight Warrior, written and read by Sheila Walsh. Both audio stories are stories from the Bible. The boys go to bed listening to these at night. Audio stories allow them to use their imagination to paint the setting and characters in their mind. Truth settles into their hearts and minds and they seem to rest better.

Do you know of some great audio stories?

Chapter books

Our second grader loves his chapter books. We're into Magic Treehouse and anything baseball. He reads for homework and will bring books on van trips. Usually on Sunday afternoons, when our family has gone non-stop over the weekend, we'll all lay down with a good book. The challenge lies in asking him questions about what he has read. Somehow, him sharing, fuels his love to read more.

What chapter books are read in your home?

Easy read - picture books

Tickle Monster and anything by Mo Willems and Sandra Boynton rank up top. Our kindergartner loves Sammy the Seal, Lil' Critter, and Frog and Toad books. He is able to practice his reading as he reads to his 3 year old brother during rest time. We used the resource, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, to teach him to read and he's taken off!

We love giving away books and getting other used books.

What are some of your children's favorites?

Recycle Bin

We live in a very green, eco-friendly city and it's becoming a value in our home as well. It's amazing how much we can recycle and compost, yet some of the recycled items are screaming, "make something out of me!" So we set aside those screaming items and stock up for a few weeks. Then we pull them out along with some scissor, glue, and crayons and make all kinds of creative things.

Sam just made a beach in a box that you can take with you anywhere. When you open the box (egg carton) you discover seashells (wads of paper), the beach (plastic coffee can lid), fish (caps) and the sun (scraps from a paper towel roll).

What do you do with random items?

Spiritual Growth

As parents, we must be growing in our relationship with God in order to model and pour into our children. We can have lots of tools in the toolbox, but without proper instruction and demonstration, the tools are useless.

We read through the Jesus Storybook Bible at night as a family and have a different prayer for the boys each night.

Monday: their education (even their colleges!)

Tuesday: their friends

Wednesday: their character

Thursday: their wives (this is a big one!)

Friday: their purpose

Saturday: our church

Sunday: our family

Since Elijah is growing in his faith as a Christian and is a good reader, he is currently reading Power of a Praying Kid as he has a heart to pray for his classmates and our city.

We love partnering with our church's children curriculum as they learn verses for the month. Memorizing Scripture can start very young and is powerful in the home and in our lives. Children have strong faith and trust and we're learning it's best to capitalize on this while they young.

Sam and Elijah have written their classmates on post-it notes near their bed. We pray for those who were sick or those who had a hard day.

Character Growth

After reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I started keeping a grateful journal, but quickly got the kids on board with their own. On those days we're feeling groggy and selfish and can only find things to complain about, we grab our journals and jot a few things we are grateful for. It's a small task that makes a big change.

Our children are never too young to begin speaking to them about their character development. When we pray together, we ask each other, "what is something that you need God to help you with in your heart?" "what is something you notice that you are getting better at in your heart?" We pray for and rejoice in these character journeys.

How about you and yours? Where are you growing? What areas is He sharpening?

weddings

2011-09-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

on the day i said, i do, i was not thinking ahead to the times

my groom would lead others through the same vows.

ten and a half years into marriage and my groom and i have attended

many weddings of family and friends where ben has

officiated the ceremony.

each time i watch him lead a wedding, i drift into memories

and find myself back on december 16.2000.

i get married all over again!

recently, we walked through the doors of a wine cellar in sonoma

to meet with a new bride and groom as they were hours away

from exchanging their marriage vows.

new friends of ours, they have been attending epic,

and it was an honor to be a part of their wedding weekend.

ben has a way of making the bride and groom comfortable

and leads them through the ceremony, making certain they take deep breaths

and enjoy every moment. he beautifully lays out the plan God has for marriage and how both the husband and wife live out their roles.

i'm not sure about the other guests, but i left the ceremony,

more committed to the man i married!

and the scenery helped. rolling hills. vineyard upon vineyard.

dry land that appeared content.

we stood close to clusters of grapes and watched the sun set slowly

over the hills into the pacific ocean.

how romantic is that?

the evening continued with celebration as every wedding should.

i was so happy to be with the man i love and be reminded of the beauty and magnitude

of the marriage commitment.

as we spend time with the bride and groom months before the wedding day, we often remind them that the wedding is a ceremony, but the marriage is the commitment. the wedding takes months of planning, but the marriage is choosing to live out the plan God has for each person.

the wedding will be a day you'll never forget, but the marriage will be filled with many of these unforgettable moments.

this wedding came at a perfect time for us to be refreshed

as ben and lindsey cared for the boys for us to have 2 days away.

we drove many miles between napa and sonoma.

we discovered a few great eats and toured a winery.

those miles were a delight as we got in lots of uninterrupted conversation

in our mini-van built for many, but only carrying two!

though in my nostalgic nature, it's easy for me to escape to the past

and think of sweet memories in our marriage,

my groom challenges us to look ahead.

no mistake, he relishes in those sweet memories, too.

but it is with a renewed sense of hope and purpose that we ask God to continue

to make us better spouses for each other and be the center of our marriage.

kindergarten

2011-09-05T04:53:00.000-07:00

i thought it would be easy.

we've done it once before.

this kid was naturally ready.

he had spent every day at this school last year,

waiting on the play yard for brother to be done.

youngest brother gives him a high five and says, "see you later, sammy."

with a huge grin on his face, he couldn't be more proud.

yet, there was a lump in my throat that i just couldn't swallow.

i tried to force it down or it was gonna cause tears to gush from my eyes.

what was happening to me?

i thought this would be easy.

we've done it once before.

oldest brother started his kindergarten year off with a skip in his step.

independence for him.

releasing the oldest for me.

that was two years ago.

now two go.

is it that we have two at school or just one at home that

causes my emotions to be so unstable?

for every parent, this is a milestone.

a change for them.

a change for you.

i thought all along that the scary part was going to be their transition

from home to school and all that it entails.

but i am discovering every day that the scary part is my transition.

how will i greet them when i see them at the end of the day?

will i pray for them while we are apart?

how will i spend my time while they are at school?

will i give them space to make mistakes and then offer grace?

will i want to step in and defend?

how long will i get to snuggle with them still on those sad days?

who are they listening to now?

cousins

2011-08-22T03:32:00.000-07:00

cousins are the family that you most identify with

as you are neither blood-related nor have the history like the 'older people.'

[jonah and eva making music]

in our story, our kids don't see their cousins that often,

which could be detrimental, but instead,

we make the most of the moments we have together.

[we celebrate jonah's 9th birthday together]

this moment the allens came to san francisco.

we do what we do best when we are together.

[emma and sam painting at the museum]

we ate well and stepped aside

to let the kids play til they fell asleep at night.

[asher proud of his golf game]

[elijah working on his hula skills]

[sam in the curious george world]

[eva wants the pigeons to be her friend so desperately]

these cousins won't be able to say they grew up near each other, but they will be able to recall the special trips to see each other and the memories made in the short sweet moments.

family verse

2011-08-17T03:18:00.000-07:00

choose you this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

joshua 24.15

it's a choice.

ben and i made a commitment on our wedding day

that we would be a family that would serve God.

in our home, particularly this year, we want to live this out radically.

as our boys are getting older, the choice becomes theirs.

it's a daily choice.

we either serve God or we serve ourselves.

by serving God we serve others.

we serve selflessly when we serve Him.

if it's ourselves that we serve,

it's a cycle of discontentment and chasing after the wind.

we grow weary when we serve ourselves and lack purpose.

it's a choice that leaves impact.

our choices affect those near us.

either for the good or bad.

to sharpen and strengthen

or to tear down and destroy.

our choice at home.

if we can't serve inside our home, how will we serve outside?

it's the hardest place to serve sometimes. truthfully, we can vent or recluse at home. but just as david was given incredible opportunities in the world, he first served at home. we want to be a family found faithful to serving each other.

their choice at school.

for the boys, their choices affect their teachers, their classmates.

we want and challenge them to lead well at school.

leading happens when we serve.

we want them to make their teacher's day better by serving them.

our choice at Epic.

as a family, we want to serve our faith community.

this happens when we are open to the needs of others. when we serve alongside our small groups. when we intercede. when we uphold those who are weary. when we encourage. when we give back.

our choice in our city.

we want to be citizens that don't just take from our city, but give back.

we are proud to live surrounded by parks, waters, sounds, nature, museums, public transit and so much more. we refuse just to take.

we live here to give back. to take care of our city. to serve alongside a people that are already serving. but to do so because God first loved us.

[photos are the t-shirts that the boys designed of places where they serve]

Hero Boot Camp 2.0

2011-08-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

it's simple. it's organic. it's a homemade camp for our boys.

the idea came from a reality i faced in watching our boys in their imaginative world play superheroes. they portrayed a hero as someone with powers that could only be used when a particular suit was put on. to them, a hero only existed in the cartoon world.

hero boot camp exists be the teaching tool that brings to reality the true meaning of a hero; to challenge the boys to become heroes themselves as we look at the Scriptures, look at today's heroes, and learn to live out a heroic life.

[asher putting together the verse puzzle]

this year: heroes serve.

our verse:

choose you this day, whom you will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

joshua 24.15

[elijah making brownies for our serve project]

our Scripture stories:

david serves his brothers (1 Samuel 17.12-18)

before he did a heroic feat in killing the giant goliath,

david was in the habit of serving his family.

moses serves his people (Exodus 4.18-20;29-31)

heroes are common people who are always ready to go, do, serve, even without knowing the outcome. it's the risk, the adventure that requires faith.

the young boy serves Jesus (John 6.1-14)

being heroic is not just for the grown-ups. a hero is born by saying 'yes' to what is right

and 'no' to your fears. a hero gives all he has to serve others.

[the boys painted canvas totes for their teachers this year and filled them with school supplies and treats]

our service projects:

gave brownies and bottled water to street people in our neighborhood
delivered a cake to the fire station
gathered items for our school's food bank

[we made signs for our school's food bank and bought grocery items to stock the food bank]

our fun:

designing t-shirts with images of where we serve

going to a giants game as a family

eating the brownie batter remains!

[we made a cake to give to our neighborhood fire department]

[we got to meet modern day heroes: our firefighters]

[the boys got to see their favorite heroes up close during batting practice: the sf giants]

[some of the ballplayers are role models for our boys and we share their stories]

[ramon ramirez - pitcher - personally gives sam a baseball]

camps are popular in our city. we attended two this summer. camps can be expensive though.

hero boot camp allows me and ben to help move our boys to the next level in their thinking, learning, growing, leading, and serving. we tailor it to where they are spiritually and relationally.

feel free to use this with your family. we want there to be a generation of heroes - heroes who serve!

picnic & painting

2011-08-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

i can't explain the community we share at Epic.

people we've known for years.

people that came to the first service.

people that we met at the picnic.

it's best if i describe...

one picnic blanket spread out.

the next blanket touches it. then the next.

it becomes a patchwork quilt of blankets and sheets.

watermelon is passed around.

frisbees are tossed. lemonade is poured for another.

the picnic vibe rivals that of a family reunion...

conversation chatter constant.

it feels like family. like home.

then small groups make it all the more communal.

we reach beyond encouragement and Bible study into the city.

we pick up a paint brush, a roller.

we serve our city together.

and have the time of our lives doing so.

johnsonbeach

2011-08-04T03:34:00.000-07:00

when it's cool and foggy in the city

we are learning where to find the sun.

johnson beach on the russian river

1.5 hours north of the city.

i pack the picnic, towels, and toys.

ben does the driving.

the boys wonder out loud with questions about the place none of us have explored yet.

all four of the guys can't sit still for long.

playing ball. water fights.

retaliation that leads to a truce in the form of milkshakes

the sun is bright and its heat feels like therapy.

[i know this is difficult to understand if you are spending your summer in the 100s]

but for us, therapy and warmth.

it makes the treats all the more tastier.

by mid-day we are no longer loners on the beach.

company.

eaves-dropping on their conversations, they, too,

left the city for the warmth.

the water stings - it's that cold.

but the boys grow numb after a little while.

i never did.

so we canoed. paddleboated. kayaked.

all in a day trip to johnson beach

on the russian river

1.5 hours north of the city.

543 howard

2011-07-27T03:12:00.000-07:00

"pastor ben, we trust you."

it was the comment given by one from our faith community

when ben shared the great news of permanent space for Epic

and asked for questions.

our first preview service (10.10.10) was a monumental moment.

our launch Sunday (2.13.11) was historic.

yet this Sunday (7.24.11) spoke trust.

i watched the faces of our leaders, then our church family, look at ben with anticipation for the news they waited all week to hear.

during the previews we saw a crowd.

during the launch we recognized faces that had been attending.

yet this Sunday we knew their stories. we have been in small group together. we have greeted together. we have worked Epic Kids together. we have served the city together.

ben shared the news with our faith family.

for as a church we have gone Sunday to Sunday at the w hotel, sometimes not having kid space, and sometimes being moved around.

as a church we have sought God collectively for permanent space.

space 24/7.

space for our kids every Sunday.

not only did God grant us space -

it's 2 blocks north of the w hotel.

it has 3 rooms for kids.

the large room sits about equal that of our large space at the w.

we have access to a kitchen.

we have nice restrooms.

we have a lobby in which to greet those who come.

He has provided.

abundantly.

we start august 21.

we have work to do til then in preparation for grand opening.

we have things to buy.

if you want to give, go to www.epicsf.com/543howard.

it would bless us tremendously.

yet in the busyness of this transition

we celebrate this milestone for our church.

He is to be praised.

He alone.

bikes

2011-07-26T03:59:00.000-07:00

the beauty of our city lies in the parks, green space, waters, forests.

the work comes in getting to them.

some days i say they are in our backyard

but reality is you must go to them.

crissy field is on the other side of our city -

in the bay's shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge.

it's swampy where the waters have flooded and receded from the bay,

creating fields to play, beach to explore, and paths to bike.

with the boy's practice of bikes from the island earlier this summer

we rented bikes from the sports basement

$5 for 4 hours.

that's a bargain anywhere.

training wheels attached to build the boy's confidence.

asher rides on back.

he had it easy, but wished to pedal...next time.

adventure is all around us in the city.

it is ours to explore.

and when it's our adventure, it is ours for the deciding.

so we picnicked.

we rested our legs.

we stared at the bay.

the boys will choose adventure every day.

it's me, who must lay aside the necessary mundane like

laundry, cleaning, and the like to get out and go to them.

laundry i will always have. my adventures with the boys, it is short.

cancun

2011-07-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

it's how we describe our 10.5 years of marriage.

holding hands.

looking out into the unknown.

figuring out we can't do it on our own - nor want to do it on our own.

yet crazily and desperately we walk by faith

and with every step...so glad we have!

we stopped to celebrate our 10 years

in cancun

with our best friends, dan and meredith

at an all-inclusive resort, which we highly recommend!

[it took some getting used to the free mexican cokes in our mini fridge in the room!]

the trip was paid off months in advance which made the stay all the more enjoyable.

not much on the agenda each day.

just relaxing and romancing.

simply reading and lounging.

indoor or out.

quiet time seemed sweeter as I didn't rush to speak and took time to listen.

time stood still.

"what time is it?"

"who cares?"

"quarter after something!"

we enjoyed room service for breakfast

drinks around the pool with excellent service

swimming in the pool while looking out at the gulf

spotting Brett Favre and his wife at our resort

reading and 'twilighting'

ben could be still only so long -

i could for too long.

so together, we went out on the boats

by himself he competed

and won the ping-pong tournament.

and got a spa certificate instead of tequila - which we were far more grateful for.

just another reason to relax.

the spa had several pools, cabanas, hot tubs, and massages, of course.

back to competing. mini-golf.

bocci ball.

and when we weren't competing and lounging, we were eating.

choosing from one of 6 restaurants for dinner was our toughest decision of the day.

the guys made the plan.

the girls enjoyed dressing up.

our favorite meal? sushi.

for several years, the four of us have ventured out and tried new kinds.

this was awesome to try so many new kinds for free!

we got to know the chefs well...

...and oscar, the maitre-de.

he found it quite amusing that we would start with sushi

and end up at another restaurant for the main meal

and yet another restaurant for dessert!

speaking of dessert...favorite was chocolate souffle at El Patio.

i think we had it 4 nights!

the staff would go above and beyond in service.

they once overheard our conversation of coke floats and went out of their way to bring us one.

by the end of the week, we knew the mariachi band well, the servers at the restaurants,

and our favorite item on each menu.

when we think of our trip, we definitely think of the food and the moments to relax,

but we also cherish the uninterrupted time to reconnect with each other and the long talks of our dreams and the future together.

we would stay up late playing cards, farkle, and mad gab with dan and meredith -

ordering room service, drinking our mexican cokes, and laughing so hard it hurt.

i believe God desires that we encourage and walk alongside other couples to build stronger and healthier marriages. we are blessed to do so with dan and meredith.

when people ask about our trip, i say

i didn't deserve it, but am grateful for it.

we returned to our boys recharged and ready to pour into their lives a better example of a godly marriage. for that is a legacy we desire to leave each of them.

imagination

2011-07-21T04:15:00.000-07:00

i give thought to the imagination of God.

tomlin says lyrically, "creation yields to Your command...He said let it be and it was...imagination runs wild and breathes the breath of life."

'You do all things well,' my heart cries in the moment.

i look out and see ocean.

but on most days, i don't physically see ocean.

most days i fail miserably as a creation of God's when i give credit and am in awe of what mankind makes to satisfy earthly life, making it more easier and productive.

i must stop and take a look around at the imagination of God.

oh, how i get distracted. how i fall short of giving my Creator all the credit, all the praise.

for he makes mine and ben's marriage beautiful.

he brings joy to our home.

he loves our boys to death.

he picks me up, holds me, walks with me.

he still speaks today.

he cannot be outsmarted - undermined - beat out by a competitor.

what He set forth since the beginning of time still for centuries baffles the most intellectual of each generation.

through my frail and imperfect vision i see the waves crash and ocean extend for miles. the sun rises in gold and sets in brushing hues of purples and oranges as it disappears from my view. it's merely a glimpse. that's all i do see and all i need to see to be thrust into awe and wonder of my God - my Creator - the Source of all imagination.

tornado

2011-07-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

tuscaloosa is a part of our story. a big part of our story.

so when we watched with beating hearts the weather radar on the internet,

we uttered prayers that spring day.

we sent texts to friends in tuscaloosa and birmingham hoping to hear that

the storm came and went with very little damage.

for tornadoes are common in the spring

as the weather can't decide between the cold and warm and the mixture

proves disastrous.

disaster came and the tornado did the unthinkable.

wiped out over a mile of homes, restaurants, businesses, college apartments, churches.

[site of our favorite Japanese restaurant and a oil lube station where men found safety below during the storm. in the backdrop were college apartments.]

and what's worse...it took lives. students of the University of Alabama.

residents of the city. though our family knew the dead not personally, we knew those

who rose up to care, rebuild, and restore. our former church, calvary, has adopted one hundred families to walk alongside and help to complete and long-lasting wellbeing. friends and students who have roots in the city returned to love and serve.

[our friend, Rod, owns the Taco Casas in town. a sign says, 'coming back soon.]

during our time in georgia visiting family, me and the boys made a trip to tuscaloosa.

to see friends. to encourage. to make sight the stories we had heard.

to learn to value life itself and those around us.

[Alberta church got hit hard.]

As we drove by the church, we noticed that repair wasn't taking place inside, but the church was serving meals to the homeless in the parking lot. what a beautiful story for me and the boys to witness.

[Sam taking picture of kaylie, me, asher, taylor, elijah, sara, and hannah]

at the end of our quick trip to tuscaloosa, we gathered with

former students of ours from tuscaloosa days.

we hurt for the city.

we pray for those hurting.

we count today as precious and a gift.

we choose to cherish every breath and to love

and celebrate those in our path.

hometown

2011-07-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

hometown.

camilla, georgia.

it was so for 13 years.

starting fourth grade in a new place was the hardest thing i've ever done.

returning for a visit as a grown-up girl with purpose is much easier.

some things never change.

the van that carted me to sport meets and field trips still seems to be

serving its purpose at my high school.

the only time i recall stepping foot on the baseball field was minutes before the Annie production. and that was to roll around on the pitcher's mound to look like an orphan!

yet within minutes of introducing my boys to my childhood school, they played like they owned the field.

in bedtime stories i tell of drumsticks for less than a dollar and a jumbo cup of sweet tea that takes two hands to hold. krispy chik. it really exists, the boys say.

the moments us classmates shared back then were numerous. algebra, basketball, spanish, and friday night football to name a few. this trip the moment was short. for now we have busy schedules of our own with summer camps and toting children to and fro.

but just for a moment we caught up on life at the bistro in town.

grandma davidson we would not miss. she loves on us. she prays for us. she always smells like the best perfume you've ever breathed in. she also makes the best homemade mayhaw and blackberry jellies.

charlotte the faithful. in those teen years of wondering and wandering, she listened. she taught me in Sunday School and seemed to be on every youth trip.

if you're not a farmer in the hometown, you're a small business owner.

and the way a small town operates, everyone helps his neighbor.

in the last few months living at home before marriage,

i spent my workdays at the loan office, helping neighbors.

it's the happening place in the hot summer...the city ballpark.

i played for the cubs - softball - catcher.

i think my coaches thought i was safest there!

my neighborhood. nothing fancy. started off with red clay roads. to be paved was a luxury.

yet in the winter of 2000, it didn't matter what the roads looked like anymore. a tornado took the neighborhood by storm. few pine trees remain today. my family had to start over.

at the end of the day with my boys beside me, I pointed them to the woods behind where my childhood home once stood. it was into the coolness of the woods that my sisters and christy would play. building roads, forts, and houses for hours til dark.

this is where my imagination took root and as robert frost would say,

"...and that has made all the difference."

georgia

2011-07-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

it had been on my mind for months.

the thought of spending extended time with family was a rarity i was ready to enjoy.

we said 'see you later' at our elementary school

and did the same with our church friends.

me and the boys boarded the plane with 4 carry-ons and 4 backpacks.

we were ready to fly east.

nothing but shorts and sandals.

we breathed in the thick humid air of the south.

102 felt pleasantly toasty at first.

it wore on us though.

we became like all other southerners...sticky in seconds

on a mad dash to the air-conditioned car.

You feel as if you accomplished some great feat to survive 102 degrees.

But it was accomplished beside Nellie's pool or the

inflatable pool in Mimi and Pop's backyard.

I loved hearing the footsteps of the boys come down the stairs in the morning. They were on a mission to the backyard in their pajamas.

Maybe a 'good morning' was heard, but definitely the hinges of the deck door.

To play ball.

Asher would peer out the window and say, "Are they out there?"

"Who, Asher?" I wondered, seeing the brothers on the sofa.

"Oh, yeah, I seem them. They out there!"

"Who's out there?" I knew it, but wanted to hear it from him.

"Posey, Ross, Timmy, Huff, Pat the Bat..." Asher ran through the roster.

And with that, Asher pushed on the handle and was taking his place in the field.

The deck his dugout.

Inside the stands.

The game ends. He gives high-fives to 'the players' that he sees.

He's back in to give us the highlights of the game.

We took breaks often from the heat and sun.

Picnics.

Root beer or coca-cola floats.

We picked blackberries. Discovered a blueberry field.

Watched cousin Ella color and move about.

We sampled peanut ice cream in Jimmy Carter's hometown,

but devoured the homemade pecan pie and sweet tea at a local cafe.

We watched the Atlanta Braves play the New York Mets and watch the grounds crew cover the field, not once but twice.

We heard Pops preach a time or two and got to all be together on

Father's Day - the last being 1997.

We spent time with Aunt Natalie before her trip to Russia.

And the moment dad joined us, one month later, our feet pounced us high in the sky.

We were so glad to be together again.

a good trip to georgia.

hot, sweaty, and relaxing.

a good time with family.

memories etched in our minds.

purpose

2011-07-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

You're not here by chance, but by God's choosing. His hand formed you and made you the person you are. He compares you to no one else - you are one of a kind. You lack nothing that His grace can't give you. He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill His special purpose for this generation.

- Roy Lessin

God gives them purpose. He has written their story already.

A part of my purpose is to point them to the Author - the Perfecter of our Faith. For in nothing else will we find fulfillment and joy and satisfaction in this life or the life to come.