A Mother's Worst Mistake (or at least it feels like that today!)

With Ben not in this evening, I stepped into wonderwoman mode and tried to accomplish things too quickly. The boys and I were painting cards for upcoming birthdays, when I realized that the boys would need a bath before we went out for Chickfila's Family Night.
"Since they are gonna need a bath anyway, I should go ahead and cut their hair instead of waiting until tomorrow," I thought.
I began the process with Asher since his fingers were smudged in blue paint. I used a certain guard on his head and trimmed around the neck and his ears. He was happy to be done and played in the backyard while I called for Sam.
Now you must know that we save over $45 a month for haircuts. The older two like the buzz cut and Asher doesn't like haircuts from the kid-friendly salon or me, so I might as well do it myself for free, right? He's getting better at it.
So Sam sits down on the stool outside. Here's where the mistake happens...

I had taken off the guard that I used for Asher and then called for Sam. Without thinking about it, I began to buzz Sam's hair from the back of the neck upwards and froze.
"Oh, no," I shouted and cried simultaneously. I blinked, hoping that I was dreaming. Elijah scurried to see what I was crying about. I had started off buzzing Sam's head with no guard.
"That's so cool!" he shouted.
Because of Elijah's excitement, Sam was excited.
There was nothing else I could do. After pulling myself together, I reluctantly proceeded to shave his entire head with NO guard. Sam got off the stool and peered into the house window to discover it all gone. He had a confused look on his face.
Elijah said,"Mom, do that to my hair."
Now, I didn't like the haircut AT ALL. My boys have no hair and I know it will take a few weeks for it to grow back. But I thought, maybe cutting Elijah's hair the same way would encourage Sam.
So, again, I reluctantly proceeded to shave Elijah's entire head.
My motto has always been, "Hair grows," but it has always been a personal motto, not a family motto. As I watched my three boys play around in the backyard, I had to simply embrace that I made a mistake, but it's one that fixes itself. Hair does grow! At least for most of our family!
We made it in for baths to get paint and shaved hair off. Sam had a moment when he had to scrub his head. He didn't like the way it felt. I told him that it would grow back. When it was time to get dressed, the thought of pulling a shirt over the somewhat bald head bothered him. I chose a button up shirt for him instead. Then as I was quickly getting myself ready to leave, he came and asked me if he could wear a hat tonight. This is highly unusual for Sam. I could tell he was REALLY sensitive about what I had done to him.
"Of course, you can!" I said with a big smile and picked him up. I wanted to make it up to him tonight by treating him to a special time out and about. We made it to Chickfila's Family Fun Night and got to make suncatchers and make free sundaes. He had been asking me for a particular kind of underwear, so we make a special trip to get some. (And I paid more than I wanted to, but again, I save $45 a month on haircuts and completely shaved every hair off my son's head tonight!)
So tonight I feel the weight of this mistake. I can't stand it that I did this to Sam and that it made him extremely sensitive this evening. My heart broke to see him cry over his image and then I realized that more than any other person in the world, I (and Ben) have the privilege of showing and telling Sam who he is and how much he is loved.

They are still the most handsome boys I have ever laid eyes on!