we were just hours still on the african soil before boarding a plane back to the united states,

when an email came through that the orphanage license is renewed!

i responded with joy for it's what we've been longing, yet

it came with news that the director is out of town again and the timeframe for receiving K's paperwork

and photo are still unknown.

why can't joy overtake all of me?

why do i find reason to despair?

here it is the 3rd of july and i've clicked on yahoo 252 times so far the past two days in hopes for her picture.

in hopes of an email from our adoption agency.

seeing the children of uganda made me long for K all the more.

i could reach out and touch and feel and hold these dark hands.

there was no paperwork standing in the way.

i could give hugs and receive pearly white grins.

i could look into their eyes and tell them how much they are loved.

why the wait? why the red tape? why can't it move faster?

why wait yet another day?

agony runs like a thread through my faith journey.

i see joy in my home, my family, my marriage, my church.

yet i hurt to the marrow to see this adoption linger and dangle.

my joy is God. He has not changed. my soul is downcast for my hope lies outside the realm of Christ.

oh the grace of God that brings my soul back to Him.

psalm 43.4-5

Then I will go to the altar of God,     to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre,     O God, my God.

 Why are you cast down, O my soul,     and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,     my salvation and my God.

K is worth the wait.

God is worth my praise.