I haven't always been this way

I believe God set up life to pick up friends along the way. You too? So many of you, God has given to me in this San Francisco season and I’m so very glad you’re here. But I see you and you and you and know that our paths crossed in the town of six traffic lights, in the hills of Virginia, in college ministries in Louisiana and Alabama or in the oasis of Missouri. Perhaps you already know I haven’t always been this way…

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a conversation with a perfectionist

I'm a clear and definite Enneagram #1 (perfectionist) though I much prefer to go by improver. That has far more of a positive connotation than perfectionist...don't you think? The perfectionists do...I mean, us improvers do!

I've been fairly quiet here about personality types and how we're each wired, but it certainly comes up in conversations I'm a part of. If you're new to this or not sure what I'm even talking about, The Enneagram is a powerful tool for personal and collective transformation. Stemming from the Greek words ennea (nine) and grammos (a written symbol), the nine-pointed Enneagram symbol represents nine distinct strategies for relating to the self, others and the world. Each Enneagram type has a different pattern of thinking, feeling and acting that arises from a deeper inner motivation or worldview.

{taken from https://www.enneagramworldwide.com/the-enneagram/}

It has been helpful for me to learn that who I am is not for me to blame on my parents, my upbringing, my childhood, or my culture on how I live. Nor do all of these get all the credit! I have a unique personality and specific calling upon my life because of the love and grace of God and knowing who I am in my strengths and weaknesses, is helping me internalize how I can be the best, most honest, me I can be. I'm recognizing the level at which I expect too much from others, especially myself, and am having healthy self talks when I'm too critical and judgmental. This has certainly ramped up my prayer life and time of solitude and reflection at the start and end of the day. 

Basically, I'm learning to take much needed deep breaths and not feel guilty for it!

I invite you into this conversation I discovered between Jesus and a perfectionist.

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